THE SEARCH

Sharmila, breathing heavily, walks barefoot on the wet ground towards the forest at the far end of the ground.

She looks at the building behind her, the one she is running away from, starts to light up.

Footsteps starts to speed up, the she began running towards the forest.she had one thing in mind..crossing the forest to the highway and escaping from here.

On her running for life on the wide misty field, she thinks of what bought her here..

Sharmila, a teen in her late 20's long hair, typical indian look but modern on her outfit with tattoos, smoking, drugs, boys, sometimes women.

Her family lived among the group of houses near the river bank of kaveri.when a flood washed out their houses..the government moved them away from the city to the outer, where they lost their land, their name, their identity.

Now city people calls them the outlaws.

While some have adapted to their fate, some grew against, some formed their own path like Sharmila. She lost her school, her friends, her church, her pet dog jack.

When everything was lost to her, she starts searching which gave her love. That is how she fell in love with drugs.

People used to say, when we are into something too much, we may feel lost and searches for something contrasting or distinct.

She doesn't even know what she wants..but still she is in search of it..

Once when was she was into the trip of drugs with her friends near an abandoned building. She looked at three people with white ropes and a hood walking in bare feet towards a mountain.

She jumps out of the car and walks towards them.stops them and asks, "who are they?"

Hooded people "children of god"

Sharmila, "are you all happy?"

There was a silence.

Sharmila, "these drugs, sex they never showed me what real happiness is...can you?"

Sharmila eyes were red..

Hooded people, "emotions are for normal people..not for god's children"

Sharmila, "are you guys from church?"

Her leg dances with effect of drug.

Hooded people "religion is to trap god and trapping themselves"

Sharmila, "i cant understand what you guys are saying"

Hooded people gives her a card "when you are fully awake, call us".

Next morning when Sharmila was awake, she looks at the visiting card with a card..remembering the glimpses of conversation with hooded people.

She walks away from her bed to the window, opens it and lights a cigar.

She rings the number in the card with a smoke exhaling out.

Someone picks up and asks her to come to a spot.

When she arrives at the place near the war cemetery at Guindy. A van picks her up.as she travels her vision blurs.

When her vision was back. She was in a white room. Nothing was colour except her. She was so angry..a door opens.two people came in white robe takes her under an apple tree, where a man was standing nude.

When they reaches him two robed people bends on their knees and walks out.

Sharmila felt awkward standing near a nude man. But he was calm, lean, attractive face, half beard, good physique.

But she never looked down but sometimes she peeped at it. She didn't feel any sexual desires with him, rather she felt calmness like she never had before. Anger turns to peace..she didn't understand how could this be possible"

Man, "ask your questions child?"

Sharmila, "where am I?"

Man, "at the place of god"

Sharmila "who are you?"

Man, "man"

Sharmila, "your name?"

Man, "name, language, colour, culture everything is what divides us...we are one with him..

Sharmila, "with who?..you mean god"

Man, "there is no thing called god...human beings created god in his own design to divide people and control over them..but in here there is no division..we are unison".

Sharmila, "here?, where am i now"

Man, "you are in the garden of maker"

Sharmila, "who is the maker?"

Man, "who creates us all?"

Sharmila, "i dont understand..if there is no god..who is the maker?"

Man, "there is lot of stuffs that we don't know in this realm..but we try to understand..but we misinterpreted everything"

Sharmila looks confused..

Man, "child..you never came here..the maker bought you here for a reason...stay"

Sharmila thinks deeply looks at the tree and the changes that happened....

Sharmila, "what should i do?"

Man, "leave your friends, family, the world that you know"

Sharmila, "she wants to say no..but something stops her and she kneels in front of him"

After she came in..her dress from outside was burnt.she was given only a white robe..nothing else inside and outside.

She gets up by 4, takes bath in cold water, meditate in front of the apple tree, eat fruits, walk in only bare foot, meditate again, listen to speech from the man, meditate, drink a syrup, sleep.get up 4..repeats everything again..

Being here for 6 months, she understood that they had no physicality of god or they don't follow any religion.

Rather they all believed in an supreme being the maker.

They all would talk to each other but not gossips or facts or about learning but only about what they saw in dreams..through deep meditation they are trying to connect to the supreme being.

There are no books, no teachings..but only meditation..tey believe through it the maker speaks..the juice at night takes them to a transcendental state..

If someone connects with the supreme being they become special..one such was the man..he works as the mediator to the followers and the supreme maker.

The man was the one who actually created the group.in here they all see the dressed as punishment..undressed or nude as blessed..everyone here meditating to undress the dress, both physical and metaphysical..

The man when speaking to the group, everyday he would begin with the story of the maker.

"when there was nothing..there was something..the maker was born out of that something into nothing".

After so much long meditation..she feels something during her meditative state..something unusual..not just a travel to the void..but a voice from the void calling her..

She wakes up from the meditation..no one has ever walked out of meditation.she would often gets weird strange dreams.everyone starts noticing her..

When at his speech time, he was late..but he never comes late..he comes pushing the door open..but now dresses himself with jean and tshirt..

Man, "I am Jacob..there is nothing called as the maker..I just cheated you all..you all can go home..I am so sorry for wasting your time..I did all his for money and fame....you all can leave now..there is a forest at the end of the land..when you cross that you can reach the highway.."

He walks out..people starts to cry out loud saying that they lost their whole past life, their family, their children, for him..for him, for the maker..now....we could hear cries..shouts..

But a few walks out..sharmila couldn't puzzle it together..she walks and sits under the apple tree, thinking of her plan.an apple fell from tree on her lap..she looks up..

Few people standing out see this, talks with themselves and walks in..

Later that night, Sharmila wakes from a cries of a voice, not in the dream but in reality. She walks towards where the sound was coming from..she could see a bonfire..

She looks a the man, jacob is tied in a cross with bonfire around him with all the people from the group..a lady who used to be his assistance tells him"you are a disgrace to the maker..the maker gave us not the man..but the women.."

When everyone looks at sharmila..she breaths heavily and stars to run to the forest ahead..towards the highway..

A voice calls her..her vision starts to fade..she collapses..

When her vision came in..she was undressed under the apple tree with all the followers bending towards her in the ground..

A voice from the tree says "lead them"

A hissing sound hears...