Self-Esteem

Abir left the library. It is 10:00 pm. No human or animal is available on the street. The streets are covered with full of snow. Abir was the only living creature walking in this street now. His home is 5 km far from this library. Strom of thought was going through his mind as he was walking along the street. The wind is so strong, but he had no concern on that. He has no food left at home. He is so sick today with fever. Despite he came to library and read book of Nietzsche. Only writer he loves most. He reads others books, but each time he is desperate for life. He reads Nietzsche. This is the bible for Abir. He had no money left in his pocket. He has no concern for this since it happens with him often. He is not taking any cigarette and he is not going to borrow money either.

He went home and took ablution and prayed. Abir is Muslim but he does not pray regularly. He only prays when he feels like. He beseeched after prayer like Muslim style towards God.

‘Oh Allah! Why did you waste your time by creating me? What value do I belong to? I am a man with no quality. I can contribute to nothing to humans. I am wasting everything. I am useless. I lost my confidence. What’s the point of living I do not get oh Allah. I have nothing to ask from you except death and please do not bother with me. I have no conflict over you. I want to be dust. I do not want Jannat. I do not want your Jahannam either. I do not want your test. Let me be dust with universe. Let me be non-existence. Pardon me for my shortcoming. I am your worthless creature. I nether like conflict with people nor you. Hence, leave me and let me be dust. That’s all I ask from you. I got fever tonight. I got no money in my pocket. I did not borrow money either. Can I be your disappearance servant? There are trillions are out there to worship you and it does not matter if they worship you. Then, please listen my prayer that I am calling upon you. Let me be disappearance. Let me be nobody. Let me be nothing. I want to be disseminated with universe where nobody will find me ever. I do not like the consciousness you have given at me. O Allah I have read Bible, Quran, Vedas and I heard the God is the most powerful.

Can you use your power to eliminate my existence from your record? Are you capable of doing that? I do not think so. A very simple prayer from your servant. Please do accept only this request . 

Abir finished his prayer and went to sleep with an extreme fever hoping to die by tonight. His prayer may work this time as he highly expected.

The next day Abir was found alive. He woke up and noticed his fever is gone almost. He feels better today. He woke up and opened the window and he saw a beautiful morning with sunlight reflecting on snow. That's marvelous view Abir loves this view. He got called from his best friend.

‘ Do you like Macde Chicken or KFC? I am buying for both of us now and coming to your home right now. I have good news for you’

‘ Bring Macde please’ Abir replied.