Pothole vs PM

 

Once there was an all India conclave of senior leaders of the saffron brigade. One by one many leaders eulogised about the supreme leader. In a summary they said he was avatar like who has come as a saviour of Indians. Someone said he is eternal. Some other said he is omnipresent, considering his photo has been printed in over 150 crore vaccine certificates. It was like in the days of monarchy when the poets composed poems in the praise of kings and in return the King gave them prizes. In the modern world it is all about ministerial berth or a party position and so on.

Suddenly they heard a derisive laughter. It became obvious someone was mocking those who had gathered including the leader as well. Everyone stopped talking and tried to identify where the laughter was coming from. Then someone with a keen hearing said the laughter source was from outside. Many of them matched outside and followed the sound of laughter. It led to a pothole on the road of a good size enough to topple an unwary motorcyclist.

 Then the deputy to the supreme leader thundered who dares to laugh at us or our leader? Pothole said “it is me. “ “Identify yourself” the leader replied in anger. “Know me, I am the ubiquitous, eternal and indestructible pothole. I am present even in states ruled by the opposition where your supreme leader has a token presence. I am the source of sustenance for the contractors, bureaucrats, ministers and even the government. I am the level playing field between the rich and the poor. Everyone curses me day and night. High courts have passed strictures against the municipality but yet I have prevailed. Whether the humble bicycle or the classy Mercedez everyone is scared of me.” Pothole took a pause to catch is breath and continued. “Media has written pages about me. At times I have figured in the editorial pages too. Social media goes memes about me.” To conclude I am more powerful than your avatar. Hence I couldn't help laughing. The deputy leader looked at the man in charge of highways to heaven and looked at him quizzically.

The man said I am in charge of highways not these lowly municipal roads. Pothole responded with a louder laughter. It thundered have you forgotten that I have appeared even on your highways. Your PM inaugurated the expressway just a week back and then I appeared. 

The man protested “that was a case of road caving in. It can’t be you. “

Pothole said “like your Hanuman I too have the capacity to change my size. “ I choose a size and form in the location context. “

The deputy leader walked away in anger and went looking for the supreme leader. He grudgingly acknowledged that pot hole indeed rivalled the supreme leader in coverage. If his leader was God then pothole was the devil. 

When he went into the leader’s suite and knocked nobody opened. He pushed the door opened and went inside. A voice greeted him from below. The SL was doing headstand. “Motabhai, what brings you here? Asked the leader. “you look very agitated. The likes of which I haven't seen when you were arrested in Shahbuddin's murder case.” Motabhai said “in that case I knew I would come out scot free, but what happened today worries me a lot.” And he went on to narrate the incident that left him agitated.

The avatar laughed and said “I will address the issue in the next monkey baat.”

“How will it solve the issue of pothole” asked Motabhai.

Whoever is talking about solving problems? This pothole problem has remained throughout our history irrespective of who ruled the state or the country. 

I have been rendering this monkey baat and I have referred to so many issues. How many of them have got solved? So, the point is not about solving issues but showing sensitivity to common man's problems. Each time my popularity keeps going up and we are winning elections. 

You are being called a Chanakya but let me tell you, you have a long way to go. Now I am revealing a Chidambara Rahasyam. In our religion we talk about papa and punya, Karma, leaving everything to God. Be it COVID, poverty or potholes people feel it is all God given. People pray harder. That is why I am encouraging refurbishing old temples and build new ones. It is okay not to build hospitals or schools. But temples stand the test of time. That is why our great kings built temples. One gets elevated to the level of God.”

Motabhai nodded but his head was reeling. He still felt desolate. Will his chance of becoming a PM remain a pipe dream. As if sensing his concern the avatar said “wait till you hear my next monkey baat over the end of this month. “

Motabhai felt somewhat comforted.

Citizens were given a message about the upcoming monkey baat that avatar would be giving a special message. Oh! No. One more demonetization masses wondered. Some cynics derided “another thali bajao program. “ A famous astrologer who had predicted the rise of the avatar predicted that it will be about slaying a mighty demon.”

It was a scene never witnessed before. Public took to the roads in the states irrespective of who ruled. Potholes got filled. Sometimes it was with debris, at times with mud, with rubbish, and in a few states in the cow belt even with gobar. There was celebrations galore after that. Everyone said the avatar has vanquished the potholes. Some religiously devoted said that the day should be celebrated like Diwali ad declared a national holiday.

What triggered this massive response was that the avatar had talked about patriotic duty and demonstrated a simple way of showing one's patriotism. He did this outside his home. Earlier in the day the municipality had dug up a small pot hole as per instruction from the PMO. No question asked. The avatar had filled up this pothole in a symbolic action. The same crew which had shot the avatar picking up waste on the Mahabalipuram beach was assigned this task. The video after suitable editing was telecast after the talk by the avatar. 

Worldwide the rating of avatar shot up. The leaders of highly developed nations were a worried lot. If this avatar could achieve this feat merely by a talk and simple demonstration what would stop him from this Asian giant becoming the viswaguru. They concluded he is unstoppable and discussed ways to be on his good books.

The deputy leader was overtly pleased and thundered in an open area what now Mr Pot Hole? As if to answer him thunder and lightning was heard. That night it rained heavily all over India. Next day news reported of appearance of pot hole all over India and they were bigger in size. Some godi media said it wasn’t the fault of avatar but rain playing truant. News media also reported that a derisive laughter was heard and it seemed to come from pot holes. Some people managed to record the laughter and sound analysis was being done at present. 

The PMO released a news that avatar has retreated to his favourite cave in the Himalayas. There he would do tapasya and return with a powerful weapon to annihilate the pot hole.