Not Just cricket

It was an extra-ordinary meeting of the Indian chapter of the insects. There was a general buzz all around. Something serious was anticipated. Ubiquitous cockroach approached the chair and sat down. Cockroach occupied the chair for the last two terms. It was generally agreed that he would continue for another term at least. He would be only be 74 years when the current term would end and technically, he could stand for one more election. Cockroach had many qualities. It was said scientifically speaking that cockroach can survive a nuclear holocaust. The way the humans were carrying on with their life one could expect a nuclear war to break out anytime soon. Some opined that not withstanding human frailties we must move to adopt the American constitution of two years maximum for occupants of the chair. 

Cockroach cleared its throat and started “Mitron and deshvasiyon” in Hindi. Although it was a Gujarathi cockroach by origin it preferred to speak in Hindi contestably the national language of all insects. A murmur was heard among the section of ants who were located in the south of where the chair was located. Cockroach waited for the murmur to subside and announced that we have come to pass a resolution against cricket getting too much attention among all of us insects from the human kingdom. Ayes, ayes the chorus resounded. When it comes to biodiversity all insects are equal why then cricket alone gets extra-ordinary attention. This preference must end. 

Mosquitoes declared we as a group would start a war once again. We resolve to breed like hell and spread malaria, dengue and what not. This is the only way to teach human some lessons in fairness. 

Bugs said we too would follow suit and infest the beds, chairs, public transport. Mosquitoes added don’t exclude the airlines specially since only if the elite feels the bite these Bharat-vasis react. 

Ants said we believe in diversity and we are diverse in nature. Even among ants we have adamant, consultant, irrelevant etc representing unique human qualities and if you talk of skin then we have black ants, red ants and our cousin white ants as well. Then white ants, otherwise known as termites stood up as well and declared even though we are a minority we are here to stay come what may pointedly looking to the deputy chair who had once announced that termites would be rid off from Bharat. 

 It was turn of the bees to buzz. Although we are a dwindling population due to erection of mobile towers and their frequency interrupts with our own buzz you can counts on us. We will get into human bonnets and harass them to no limits.

Then tape worm who was a special invitee almost spoke. It was extraordinarily long and measured 56 inches to be precise. It said “We must take the east India like the British did. Kolkatta city is of strategic importance, that is where the current BCCI President lives. If we can tackle him like with some bouncers (I am told bouncers are his weakness) we can get him to influence cricketing decisions.”

Now it was the turn of the house flies. It said that we co-exist with human’s frailties. Thanks to lack of hygiene sense among Bharat-vasis we are provided with a conducive environment for us to thrive and flourish. We cannot go against human as a matter of survival. Even then human’s predilection for cricket alone is unfair. On that count we must all agree. We must stand united and not let a murmur come out. Is that even possible? 

After all we have lived too long with humans and have acquired human traits like leg pulling, disunity and some from their pets: dog eat dog behaviour and so on. 

A hush fell on the assembly. A raw nerve has been touched. Cricket sounded hurt when it spoke. Just because I was named cricket why are you all ganging up against me. Didn’t the bard ask “what is in a name?”

Grass hopper who was always hopping to the green side despite being green itself made some sympathetic sounds. It said we must try and promote other sports so that there remains a balance. The Dravidiants are promoting chess now-a-days. Chennaities have become exceptional in making moves and counter-moves. Every one is out to check-mating each other. Boys and girls don’t mind. Political species among humans don’t like these moves. Until now it was their preserve. Now the common man has caught up to the game. They don’t want to remain pawns anymore. The current CM has become the knight in armour for the Dravidiants. Will he or not make a national move is the question on everyone’s mind. 

Fruit fly said why don’t we invite our colonial cousin locust to colonize Bharat? They can arrange their movements according to BCCI calendar and to use the grass hopper refrain and check mate them. As it is hunger is a major issue. Floods have ravaged many parts. If locust can add to the misery the humans will kneel down and say insects too matter. 

Flea said “we are not the fleeing types. While you guys tackle the humans we shall go the dogs, the human pets and make an indirect attack.” 

The hairy caterpillar said “we shall give humans a hair rising experience. Not just a seven-year itch but all the time.” 

Spider not to be left behind added we will weave such a web that humans will take the bite. Let us see like the spider-man whether we can do reverse engineering and create a human-spider. Then we can hang around in cricket grounds and catch the ball and not give them back.

As it happened finally the cockroach always had the last word. Mimicking the parliament when the cockroach proposes a resolution it was always unstoppable. No one has come up with a solution to destroy the cockroach. The resolution was titled “not just cricket other insects too matter.” 

Somewhere a faint voice of the ‘dorm-ant’ who had a sense of justice was heard lamenting the fact that like in the parliament in the convention too not much discussions happen before passing resolutions.