My first book was published 6 years ago today

I can't believe it's been 6 years since I published my first book, it seems like just yesterday. I write this blog to inspire others that anything is possible but back then I wasn't so sure. I had been stuck in a verbally abusive marriage for 24 years, I had fallen back into despair, back into drinking and drugs to try to escape my misery.

I had lost my mother suddenly and I had lost all faith in myself and in God, feeling like I would never be happy or free. I was stuck in fear, stuck in unhappiness and I was drowning in self pity but sometimes you need to hit rock bottom before change can come.

When there is no way to go but up, when you are so sick and tired of being sick and tired, it is then you will make a change. And even then sometimes you will screw up yet again. Right out of my marriage I met someone who I thought loved me, and I fell for his lies. I wanted to be loved, I needed to feel alive and I ignored the warning signs. When I found out he was a con artist, a sociopath, and a lying cheater, I left to really find myself.

I didn't date, I stood home and wrote every chance I had, for a solid year I looked deep inside my past and was truly honest about what I had done, what I allowed and the reasons I did what I did throughout my life.

It was only then that I slowly healed myself, when I forgave, when I owned my own shit and let it go then I knew I would be okay. That book was my therapy, it allowed me to look into myself and be brutally honest with what I needed to fix within myself. 

I poured out my heart and soul into this book in hopes that others would see themselves in some parts and know that no matter how many times you screw up, no matter how hard life hits you, no matter how many times you hit rock bottom, that change is possible.

It was an honest look at feeling like things may start to go your way but along comes life to knock you back down again. It is a book about determination and faith, overcoming life's obstacles and never giving up.

This my friends is my imperfect life, my struggles and my deepest, darkest fears put out there for the whole world to see in hopes of inspiring. To let you know to never give up, to hold on, to keep believing no matter what life throws at you because in the mess, in the sorrow, in the pain, there is always a Blessing in Disguise….

Growing up an only child, Deja had wonderful parents and an idyllic childhood. Shortly after meeting her first love, Deja's world crumbles around her. Devastating life changing news, compounded with the depths of drug and alcohol addiction, leads her into a verbally abusive marriage that spans 25 years. Deja finds herself dreaming of that first love. 

The story follows Deja's transformation from rock bottom to an incredible journey of one's true self. Along the way she finds herself questioning everything in her life including her faith and self worth, still she is stuck. Fear rules her life . When she learns to let go and starts to lead a spirit filled life, she starts to believe nothing is impossible. She can and will overcome all of life's obstacles and realizes that this was all just the "Blessing in Disguise "

 The blessing in Disguise 

@treadmilltreats