LiL Of My Life & Many Teens

Till the age of 10, everything was fine. Our batch and my life were normal. In 2020, due to the covid, there was a lockdown and therefore the outlook of life changed once it was normal back again.

Once all of us were back to school, the outlook of life changed for real because when we were in the lockdown phase, we were in classes 5 and 6, which were just the beginning of teenage phases or you could say the pre-teen phase whatever.

The time school opened, we were teenagers.

On the first day, we all were nervous kind of, to talk to each other though some of us didn't feel that and eventually started the gossip soon after we met each other. We hugged each other as if we met 20 years after we left school (though this is what it felt like for sure).

Now the thing is, we might often be friends with boys (when ur in a co-ed school) but our parents and elders, as well as our biology book, keep telling us that at the teenage phase, we start having hormonal changes and mood swings as well as we start thinking life in our way and often think of the future too fast, being over-possessive about things we own and most importantly, we feel we develop feelings like a boy of your age is a life partner of yours for the whole lifetime. These things happen obviously and the negative point is, that they affect our studies more precisely. We start having crushes, and relationships and end up having 2 or 3 exes even (because sometimes we become indecisive I guess).

I never dated anyone till class 7 but somehow in 8 (I don't know how) I liked a boy from a senior class (9) and he liked me back as well and I regretted everything of that later. I have many friends who are experts in these types of love affairs (the one during this teen life) and my best friend was one of those (she is good from both inside out and everything but she had almost 5 to 6 affairs but that didn't matter to her because she still agrees that it was her hormonal changing problem). So I told her that there was a boy who liked me and even proposed to me, so she said, "You should just try once. It may feel a bad advice but trust me it's just okay that he isn't from your class so it will not be much of a problem. Plus you never had dated and for the first time you liked someone who had liked you back (because I once liked a boy during class 5 to 6 who didn't like me back and was in my class as well as that was okay because I knew it was a hormonal change as well)."

I decided to go by her words for the first time and honestly, it was not so good.

Well, I don't wanna start with this part of my relationship because it might seem very hard to say but I can say it just lasted for a week or so (there are many reasons for it but I don't wanna get into it. I just erased that part of the things from my mind. I JUST DELETED THEM).

The most important thing that I forgot is the overthinking we do during our stressful days or times. I can say at least this much that every night, after switching off the lights, my father, and my mother, sleep soundly but in the whole house I'm the only one who keeps thinking about all the time I wasted that day and whatever I thought of doing that day, remained unfinished, which I regret and also try to remember them to keep them remembered till tomorrow. But it doesn't stop here, just as I try to sleep, I get an alarm in my mind that I forgot to get the photos for the project printed or a dance choreography I was doing remained unfinished. 

I don't know how long this will go on with my mind but I can certainly say, today at night, I'll still have one of these 'Overthinking sessions'. 

And to all the teenagers out there, I know you might relate my story to your life as well, but believe me I know it will settle one day and we all will be having a shining, successful future ahead. And remember, 'DELETE THE MEMORIES THAT HURTS YOU'.