Letting Go (Chapter-40)

Serena

“Serena Moore, Agent Nancy Keene is ready to see you.” The young officer gestured toward Serena, who had sat down only moments before being called into Agent Keene’s office.

“Hello, Serena,” Agent Keene walked swiftly to her desk, “please come in, make yourself comfortable. Thank you, Officer Peters.”

Serena walked into the office and sat on a wooden chair placed across from Keene’s desk.

“So what is it you have to tell me, Serena?” The agent sat comfortably in a large leather chair and pulled a pen and pad of paper from her desk drawer. “I want you to know,” she said before Serena could answer, “that we’re doing the best we can to find Edmond Rowen. The moment we have any leads I will--”

“You’re wasting your time.”

Serena’s voice sounded harsher than she’d intended, with a tinge of annoyance that she didn’t expect. She took a small breath before continuing.

“I say this respectfully, Agent Keene, but you don’t know who you’re dealing with.”

The agent tilted her head slightly. “Serena, why are you coming to me now, and telling me this?”

Serena wanted to tell the agent what had happened that night - to tell everyone of Edmond’s threats. But what held her back was exactly that - the fear of Edmond’s threats, and his promise to harm her family if she revealed any information. There isn’t really anything to tell, Serena reasoned to herself, I don’t know where Edmond lives, or where he is now. All I know is that he’s bald and his birthmark is gone. She looked up at Agent Keene, I could tell her that much. But if those details go public, Edmond would know I was the one who told them.

“I just…” Serena finally spoke, “I feel like you aren’t making much progress.”

Keene leaned back into her large leather chair, “Serena, there are things we’re doing here that you’re not aware of - things that I cannot share with you. But I assure you, we know what we’re doing. We’ve dealt with criminals like Edmond Rowen before.”

“And that’s your problem, Agent Keene. You think you’ve dealt with people like Edmond Rowen before, but you haven’t. You don’t know him, and you haven’t even seen him. You couldn’t find him sixteen years ago, so what makes you think you can find him now?”

“Serena, please--”

“And another thing,” Serena placed her hands on the seat of the chair, preparing to stand, but also holding herself tightly to the chair so she wouldn’t, “Fifteen years ago, when you all decided to give up on the case, my entire family was in danger. Every single day. Every. Single. Day.”

Tears welled up in Serena’s eyes, but she quickly pushed them away. She needed her words to sound rational and composed - not emotional or weak. She released her hands from the chair and calmly placed them back into her lap.

Agent Keene nodded slightly, then met Serena’s gaze. “Serena, I can’t say that I understand what you’ve been through. But try your best not to make us the enemy. We have our top agents on this case. Your safety, and the safety of your family, is our priority. I know it may seem like we’re not doing anything, but we are. Just-try to be patient.”

Serena looked down at her hands. None of what Agent Keene said had given her ease, but it gave her time to breathe, clear her head, and prepare herself for what she was going to say next.

“I didn’t come here to vent,” Serena looked up, “or to insult you. And I’m sorry if I have,” she paused to take a steadying breath, “I came here because I know what you need to do to find Edmond Rowen.”

Agent Keene picked up the pen on her desk, “What else do you know, Serena, that you haven’t told us?”

“No, no,” Serena shook her head, “there’s nothing, I just--” she stuttered nervously, “What I mean is ...” the words were so clear in her mind, but felt impossible to say out loud. “Sorry, I-- could I have some water, please?”

The agent furrowed her eyebrows. “Of course. Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.”

Agent Keene was gone for longer than a minute. Longer than five minutes, it seemed - though Serena couldn’t be sure. She looked around the room, which looked more like an upscale interrogation room than an office because of the bare walls and small cameras located in two corners of the ceiling.

Agent Keene finally returned with a small Dixie cup in one hand, and Agent Becker trailing behind her.

“Sorry that took so long,” Keene said, handing the cup to Serena, “I think it’s important that Agent Becker joins us.”

It was a small cup with very little water in it, so Serena swallowed the water in one gulp and squished the paper cup in her hands. She kept her eyes down, feeling the added tension of having Agent Becker in the room.

“So, Serena,” said Agent Keene as she sat and leaned forward attentively, “what was it you wanted to say?”

Serena glanced at Becker, who was standing behind the desk with his arms firmly crossed in front of his chest. Just keep your focus on Keene, she thought, as she sat up straighter and shifted her gaze to the woman sitting before her.

“Okay. I know Edmond Rowen. I can’t say that I know how he thinks - I don’t think anyone does. But I do know that he won’t stop until he’s finished what he’s set out to do.”

Agent Keene nodded slightly. She had the pen in her hand now, but had not yet written anything on her pad of paper.

Serena continued, “Everyday he held me captive, he told me he’d kill me. I was who he wanted - not my sister, not my family, me. It wasn’t until later on that he started mentioning my family. He’d say he would kill them if I escaped, or if I told anyone. I don’t know how I would’ve told anyone, I mean, I was too afraid to leave the closet, let alone reach his phone… anyway, the point is, I’m the one he’s after. So the fastest way to find him would be by... well, using me.”

A long, uncomfortable silence followed Serena’s statement. She kept her eyes forward, and played with the paper cup in her hands as she waited for one of the agents to speak.

“Using you as bait, you mean.” Agent Becker’s deep, harsh voice finally broke the silence.

She turned to him and nodded, “Exactly.”

“Serena,” Agent Keene said quickly, “we will not and cannot do this.”

“But Agent Keene, it’s the fastest way to find him. And I’m doing this willingly--”

“No, no, Serena, you don’t understand. Let’s put aside the fact that this would put you in extreme danger. The fact is, we cannot knowingly put you in a bait position as part of a ploy to catch a criminal. We have specific agents who are skilled and trained for that.”

“But Agent Keene, he only wants me. If you want to catch him you have to use me. And if you don’t use me, he’s going to kill--”

“So tell me, Serena,” Agent Becker interrupted, “if you were to, as you had said, serve as ‘bait’ in catching Edmond Rowen, how exactly would you go about doing it?”

Serena watched Agent Keene turn sharply toward Becker.

“Well, Edmond is planning to…” Serena could feel her voice tremble slightly, “to kill me at a time when he knows exactly where and when to find me. So, it wouldn’t be something random. I doubt he’d go to my apartment, or Patrick’s, or my family’s old house - he knows those places are too much of a risk.”

Agent Keene was looking at her now with a strong, tense stare that caused Serena to focus solely on Agent Becker.

“So,” Serena continued, “I think he’s going to try and kill me tomorrow. After Michelle’s funeral.”

There was a silence that followed- a silence Serena did not expect. She dropped her eyes and looked at the mangled Dixie cup, which had transformed into a crumpled up ball in her hands. Her eyes then drifted to the Band-Aid on her wrist, then at the varying sizes of burn scars that she didn’t have time to cover with makeup that morning.

“Serena,” Agent Becker’s voice made Serena jump slightly, causing her to drop the Dixie cup to the floor.

“Serena, you realize that there are specialized agents who train for things like this.”

“Yes.”

“And even they don’t always come out of it unscathed.”

“I know.”

“Or alive.”

Serena tried to keep her voice steady, “I know.”

“And you’d still willingly do this?”

“If it means finding Edmond Rowen, then--”

“Wait, wait wait,” Agent Keene pushed away from her desk and stood, “Agent Becker is in no way implying that we would go through with this. He’s just pointing out the dangers of the situation--”

“If you would, Agent Keene,” Becker spoke in a friendly, yet firm tone as he turned to face her, “I am the only one in this room who knows what I am or am not implying. Serena, I think we’re done, unless there is something else you would like to share?”

Serena silently shook her head.

Agent Becker walked to the door, opened it, and spoke to the officer on the other side. “Officer Peters, are you on the lobby floor today?”

Serena could hear a small “yes, sir,” from the other side of the door. Becker gestured to her, so she stood and walked to him as he continued to speak to the officer.

“You’re off lobby duty, Peters. Take Ms. Moore to the retrieval window, then track her for the day.”

Moments later, Serena had checked out of the headquarters and was being escorted by Officer Peters to her car.

“Stay in your vehicle, Ms. Moore,” Officer Peters said as she opened her car door, “I’m going to the back garage to get a police car. I’ll follow you home.” Serena noticed a nervousness in Officer Peters’ voice as he spoke, giving her the impression that he was younger and slightly less experienced than other agents. She sat in her car, turned on her phone, and lay her head back as she waited for him to return.

She looked down at her phone as it powered on, trying to wrap her mind around what had happened in Agent Keene’s office. She was relieved to have gone to the police, but remained worried that nothing was going to change. If they don’t use me, Serena thought, they’ll never find him. So he’ll kill me. Then he’ll kill again. And again.

Serena’s chest tightened, and tears began flow so steadily that her vision was blurred by them. She hunched forward, resting her forehead against the steering wheel as her cries turned into sobs, which pounded so violently against her ears that she didn’t notice a car pull up beside her and stop. One honk blared from it, then another- but it was the hard sound of knuckles knocking against her window that finally lifted Serena out of her stupor, causing her to look up into the angry eyes staring down at her from the outside.