Kangana or Sanjay, Who Got Run Out?

After a hiatus the two warring neighbouring countries resumed the sports activities. What else is better than starting with a cricket match between the two nations but with a difference. It was a T-20 match between VIPs from the two countries excluding cricketers. The match of course was being held in the recently rechristened Mahatma Modi Cricket Stadium. Mahatma himself had come for the match flanked by his beloved mother on one side and the PM of Pakistan on the other side. The stadium was filled up to the capacity. The match was being telecasted world-wide. Of course, I was talking about Indo-Pakistan match. It was a day and night match. Pakistan had finished batting and set a score of 150 a challenging total under the conditions as the expert commentators would always remind you.

Kangana Raut and Sanjay Raut were in the middle. Although they were at logger-heads with each other in daily life both had agreed to open the innings for playing for one’s country was greater than one’s ego. Kangana opened the innings and stroked the ball for a single. She preferred to be single in life too although she could lead a double life when it comes to media visibility and glamour. Sanjaya was slow to respond. The batters were out in the middle when the fielder directly broke the stumps at the batter’s end. The wicket keeper in an excited state picked up the ball and threw it to the bowler who also broke the stumps. An appeal went up immediately. Now Sanjay and Kangana were arguing in the middle as to who should walk out. Although Sanjay was an expert at walking out due to his political experience, he claimed seniority over Kangana and asked her to walk out.

Kangana stayed put. The field umpires got equally confused about the situation and asked for the third umpire review. The third umpire played over and over the replay and could not arrive at a verdict. The BCCI chairman who was among the audience decided enough is enough and dialled AB at KBC and requested him to pose the question to the contestant as he knew KBC was being relayed live at that moment. AB in deferring to the VIP’s request asked the contestant who could not answer and finally asked the audience to vote their decision. Audience with glee participated but alas their vote too tied. AB relayed it back to the Chairman, BCCI. The Secretary now took the initiative to break the imbroglio and opened his address book in the phone and dialled the first name in the who is who list of Gurus of India. The bearded guru resting in the foothills of eastern ghats took the phone and immediately understood the situation.

The guru immediately chanted some mantra which woke up Devendra (not Fadnis) in the heavens. Guru told Devendra that only Vikramaditya could resolve the issue. Devendra immediately arranged for his Airavat to transport Vikramaditya. In the meantime, the guru invoked another spell and this time he had contacted the 10-headed Ravan who was the inventor of the first satellite flying machine. Ravan nodded with all his 10 heads together and immediately arranged to send Pushpaka vimana carrying the famous judgement seat of Vikramaditya.

By this time the news got transmitted to the whole world. NASA scientists armed with their satellite decided to record the whole spectacle. Chinese were not behind and so did Putin in Moscow. Elan Musk too decided to get into action and activated his team. He wanted to retrace the path of the Airavat and Pushpaka. He immediately decided that he would shun the Mars mission and instead send people to heavens. The Hinduism sceptics were at awe. They had till this time thought that Hindu mythologies were only myths. Now it has become real.

At the stadium people’s chant had reached a crescendo. The crowd was in a trance. Even Hollywood hadn’t imagined such a spectacle as the Airawat descended. It was white in colour as was expected. King Vikramaditya descended and looked like a Greek, sorry Indian god. He could have been Arjun or Shiva or even Ram or Krishna. But didn’t any where look like the TV actor who portrayed him in the television screen. Soon after a rumbling was heard and Pushpaka vimana descended. Its door opened and the judgement seat was lowered for Vikramaditya to sit. Slowly Vikramaditya waved to the crowds, who went organismic at his gesture and ascended the throne. Then a hush fell in the entire stadium. In a booming voice the king asked the umpires to define the problem.

Umpires in their nervousness stuttered and described the situation. The king smiled. A tricky situation indeed warranting his intervention. He asked Kangana why she could not be run out? Kangana in a Jhansi ki Rani Style she is the one who can actually make yeoman contribution to the Hindu Rashtra. Then it was the turn of Sanjay. He said he was in his previous janam was actually Sanjaya of Mahabharata who reported the events in total to the blind Dhritarashtra. And now in this new janam he was still performing the role of the narrator but instead of to the blind king it was to the blind citizens. Vikramaditya immediately caught the humour and the subtle dig in Sanjay’s reply. He smiled and gave the verdict that Kangana was indeed run out. The crowd roared in appreciation of his verdict and chanted long live the king Vikramaditya. The betaal who always accompanied him let out a chuckle which no one saw or heard. Kangana in her typical style threw a tantrum and walked out.

You would agree it was besides the point as to who won the match that day. India has won, then and then become the vishwaguru. The world at large was looking up to India to lead the world in science and spiritual matters. All the Indian spiritual masters were stroking their respective beards. “We told you so” became the catch word for India.