Everything For Him - Part 12

I woke up on my fortieth birthday feeling no more different than the day before. There was no 'aha-moment' no feeling of dread, no sense of uneasiness. My head was completely devoid of emotions and it's as plain as the day before. 

My thoughts were jumbled and coming so fast that I was having a hard time keeping up. So I said the first thing that made it through my throat, and it was directed at myself. 'Am I growing older?'

I rushed to the mirror to make sure mother nature hadn't decided to throw any wrinkles and creases on my face all at once. I checked twice to make sure she wasn't trying to play some cruel joke on me. She didn't, and she wasn't. 

After completing my routine, I slipped into the purple gown that Sandhya selected. I then walked towards the portrait of my parents and tears started coursing down again as I remembered my childhood birthday celebrations with them. My mother used to make my favorite 'Gulab Jamun' while my Dad used to get me a toy. The last present I received from him was at my twenty-eighth birthday just two months before their death.

The cab that I booked arrived on time to pick me up at the scheduled time. I locked my door and got down into the car. I prepared for work like I always did. As I sat in the car, memories of yesterday's day in the office started flashing in my mind. 

Jayanth's soft smile and the handshake made the butterflies take flight in my stomach. It made me feel like we have a special relationship and I have my own little nickname for him Jay. It's ridiculous, and I have to bite my lips to keep from smiling. I don't understand why I think about him like that. My head cleared enough to realize there's no bill for dreaming and that's why they flash in all of a sudden without making any conscious effort.

The driver dropped me on time and as soon as I entered I requested for the security to arrange a man who can fix my flat tyre. The security guard noted down my mobile number and afterwards I took the elevator to my office.

'Ananya!' My team member Nikhita met me as soon as I walked inside the doors.

'Yes?'

'First off, Happy Birthday! Second off, the Klarwing solutions specifically requested you to lead the ad project for their new tax filing product. Should I tell them you'll be available to do that?'

'Yes. That's fine.'

'Great!' She scribbled a few things on her notepad and struggled to keep up with my walking pace. 'Mr. Vishal is out sick today; his wife called from the hospital. That leaves you to work with the beta script team this afternoon.'

Amazing… Truly the best gift for today…

'Anything else?' I pushed the door to my office open.

She and I both gasped. My space was filled with bouquets of calla lilies and roses, with white and pink balloons that completely covered my cubicle. There was a pink colored envelope placed under the mouse. I opened it and eased out the letter. I read the message.

Dear Ananya,

I wish you a very very very very happy birthday… 

Life is too short to be lived counting the years. Just step out of your past and make awesome memories. 

Every birthday is a reminder that you have only one life. It's a deadline which says time is limited to do all those things you've always wanted.

As the years go by, you are getting prettier and prettier. Age hasn't touched you at all. You have a beautiful shimmer perfect in each and every way.

May God bless you with all the joys in the world… May you always enjoy… May your life be filled with unlimited joy…

Yours lovingly,

Sandhya.

Even Raghav never surprised me on my birthdays. I don't know how much she worked hard. I never had these kinds of surprises from her before. 

I had too much work to do. From ten o' clock to eleven o'clock, I made sure everyone in the department was on task and supervised the interns' brainstorming meeting. I even managed to spare a few extra minutes to get ahead on some of the past due assignments.

From eleven o'clock to twelve o' clock, I had a discussion with the art directors about the proposed expense reports for advertisement campaigns and then went back to my cubicle as much of the work has been off loaded.

'Ananya!' Sandhya came and embraced me kissing my cheeks.'Wish you a very happy birthday!' She looked at me, scanning thoroughly with her hawk-like eyes. 'You look beautiful!'

'Thank you so much! And I really loved your surprise.'

'Oh did you love the letter and by the way your desk is beautifully decorated! Who did it?'

'What are you saying? Didn't you decorate this?'

'No!' Sandhya said, folding her hands. 'By the time I came here your desk was already decorated with balloons. I just placed the letter under your mouse.'

'If not you then who might have decorated it?'

'Might be one of our team members.'

'No! I don't think so. It might be someone but not my team members.'

'I think, Vishal?'

'No! It can't be him.'

'Then who?'

'I think it is you only!' I laughed and tapped on her shoulder.'You're playing a prank on me right?' 

'Seriously I didn't do it! But I wish I could take credit for this!'

Her answer seemed to be true. 

'Did Jayanth come today?' she asked, looking straight into my eyes.

'I haven't seen him since morning.'

'Ananya at what time did you come to the office?'

'As usual at ten.'

'Then how come I see your car in the building before ten?'

'It has been present since yesterday. My tyre has gone flat. Jayanth dropped me… sorry I drove his car to my home.'

'What did you drive his car?' She asked in astonishment with her jaws dropped.

We both sat in silence for a few seconds before Sandhya asked, 'How was the ride?'

'The ride was casual. He was asleep all the time when I was driving.'

'You should have taken him out somewhere where you both could spend time with each other.'

'Stop fantasizing! I already told you that he is twelve years younger to me.'

'Correct it! It's eleven years. I have gone through his profile. He is aged twenty-nine.'

'Still!' I paused to take a breath and finished, 'he is still younger to me by eleven years.'

'Let me see how long you are going to remain single. You are telling something and your eyes are telling something. I don't see any synchrony between them.'

'There's no synchrony! Only melancholy in my life.' 

'One should stay positive even when it feels like your whole world is falling apart.'

'Sandhya, no matter how carefully I choose my actions. They will always end up being twisted by fate.'

'Your fate and destiny, everything is tied to him…' Her voice came out in barely a whisper, but I heard every word.

'What is fate and destiny?' 

She shrugged her shoulders and gave me her most innocent face while she murmured, 'It just comes naturally. I can't turn it off. I will meet you later. I have a lot of work on my desk. Once again wish you a very happy birthday! And I am sorry!'

'Why sorry? What happened?'

'I think tonight I cannot come out with you for dinner. My husband's parents have come today.'

I smiled and nodded at her. 'It's ok! No problem.'

'Thanks for understanding. Bye!' She smiled and returned to her place.

Surprisingly, after she said that my destiny is tied to him I took on such a calm state that I didn't even feel like I was in my body. Truly, If I have been inside the body of a twenty-five year old woman I would've definitely made an attempt to pull Jayanth out for a date. I laughed at myself for this impossibility and got back to my work.

Who decorated my desk? The question once again started intriguing me.

Sandhya admitted that she didn't do it. I stood up and glanced around at my colleagues and I couldn't find any sign as an answer. I gave up and sat at my desk and stared blankly at the computer screen. All I could think about was yesterday's moments with Jayanth. I wasn't sure if it felt so amazing because I hadn't had interaction with any new man in such a long time.

I wasn't sure what was going on between me and Jayanth. Whatever it was I didn't want it to stop. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before. 

Out of all these things one thing appeared out of normal. I am not feeling pain about Raghav anymore. Not a single day passed without me shedding a tear for him and today I hadn't shed a single tear drop. Which mysterious force came to my rescue? I need to find an answer.

As I closed my eyes to find an answer, his penetrating sapphire eyes flashed again. I then opened my eyes quickly as I feared that if I looked at him a second longer, I'll end up in his arms. I have to stay strong. From this farrago, one point is clearer than crystal and that is - I am not the same person as I used to be before. What is this magical phase I am going through?  

Maybe having a cup of coffee can get me the answer. I decided to take Sandhya along with me but then I dropped it again. If I take her along she will keep iterating about marriage and date. I decided to go all alone by myself and find the answer. 

To be continued...