Caught With My Pant's Down!

I was desperate for her company!

Every time I tried new tricks, my wife would, as you guessed it, would dispose. 

I never understood the saying that ‘man proposes and God disposes’. It must be definitely created by some one who is never married!

So, when wife came to me with a suggestion that she is fed up of routine and would like to go to her brother’s place in Delhi to relax for few days, I jumped up in joy, literally, unseen by her.

On the day of departure, I just couldn’t control my raising excitement. I started looking at the clock almost every second and cursed the slowness of the movement.

I went out of my way to help my wife in packing.

It is not one or two days, it is a complete fortnight! 

I thanked my stars for providing a window of opportunity. Throwing light in the darkness of my life, to say the least.

Well, let me tell you before I proceed why my wife hates her.

She believed that she owns me and my time! Very possessive to say the least. The time I might spend with her rival is unpalatable to her. 

After marriage, my life took a complete U-turn and put me in to desperation to seek time to be with her.

So, when wife came out with the idea of going out of Bangalore, my joy knew no boundary.

She came out of kitchen and saw me staring at the clock and came around and stood in front of me and looked directly in to my eyes and spoke in a steely voice!

“ I know why you keep looking at the clock. No. Don’t hold up you hand in defense. I know you too well. That’s why I am warning you. Here, take this.” She thrust a lengthy spiral list which was more than three feet long!

I held the list, looked at her questioningly and spoke; I could hardly recognize my own voice.

“What’s this?”

“A to-do task, dear. Broken in to every minute for the next 15 days. Of course, I want a daily report of completion of the tasks without fail. All the items of the list are extremely critical and time bound. So, needless to say, they must be completed without fail.”

I scrolled through the list which took me ages to just glance through.

“My god! What is this? It looks as though I don’t have time to even………” my voice trailed off as virtually I swallowed the last word, breathe!”

Wife just glared at me and said nothing. That was enough of an answer to me.

Finally it was time for her to leave. 

We reached the station almost 30 minutes before and she could sense my irritation.

I kept the luggage and bought couple of water bottles and looked at my wrist watch for the umpteenth time.

She made a face and spoke reluctantly.

“Ok. There is still plenty of time left for train’s departure. You need not wait. You can go home. But, don’t forget to complete the tasks. Ok?”

I tried to put up a face as if I was not ready to leave - though I was dying to go home -  and spoke in a hardly convincing tone.

“No problem dear. I will wait till train leaves.”

“No. Just leave. You have more important task to complete.” She thundered.

I turned my face, smiled broadly and whistling, without sound, left.

I drove my car as fast as I could to reach home and cursed every person who was trying to slow me down.

Once I reached home, took the list given by wife and put in the drawer, locked it and looked at my handiwork with a smug satisfaction.

Suddenly, I looked at her picture on the wall and thought, she could see what I was doing. Scared, I un locked it.

Finally, it was time for me to embrace my long standing girl friend.

My joy was very short lived!

I heard the sound of door bell and cursed the person who was causing disturbance even as I walked slowly to open the door. holding her dearly to chest!

I opened door only half way; my wife pushed it hard to wide open it and dropped her bag and screamed!

"my god! I knew this is what you would do the minute I am away. How dare you go back and embrace her!"

Wife came back as the train,  it seems, was cancelled to catch me, literally, with my pant’s down!

There I was holding my bellowed Dame, Agatha Christie’s book wearing nothing but my favourite, Bermuda shorts!