Alien from Conemeen

@#$%&*^": I am a porampokku (useless) as I am referred to in Tamil. I unscrambled this message in my drunken stupor during election times. I received this coded message in my smart phone from an unknown number. This is a story of an alien as I have translated.

I am from the Conemeen Planet, yet to be discovered by you, human kind. I am what you may call a onearaimanithan (one and half-human) and I am an educated person in so far as our standard goes. I have read about Darwin and his evolutionary theory. If you as human is the most evolved, I represent an evolution that has proceeded by another 50%. When I was reading anthropology, I got curious about India especially Tamilnadu. My planet's name was supposed to have been evolved from early Tamil. Indeed, I have 50% more capacity than you humans both in terms of physical and mental. For example, I cannot exactly mind read but can know your intention before you can act. This capacity saved me when I was attacked as soon as I landed. Even the landing from my space ship was accidental. My spaceship was hovering over Delhi when it crashed due to gaseous attack, which I learnt from the black box (nano version) was due to extensive pollution in and over the city. How you humans survive in this pollution is a mystery that my scientists have taken up studies post the accident.

I also have the power to transform myself into an animal of my choice which I can use only in life saving situation. This power came handy about which I am about to narrate to you. I saw Mathura where the great avatar Krishna was born and I proceeded to Ayodhya to see the Ramjanmabhoomi. I told you I was a bit of a history buff. I had dressed like Akbar, your great emperor. Suddenly a frenzy mob came to attack me. I could sense their anger and their hatred and I started running. As I turned toward a street to my right, I evoked my power and turned into a cow.

The mob who chased me were quite puzzled at my sudden disappearance. But seemed please to see a presence of a nice-looking cow to which I was transformed. Due to all the sudden tension release, I peed liberally. To my utter surprise and shock I found some of the men collecting my pee in their cupped palms and drinking it. They seem to enjoy the drink and I made a mental note of this pee drinking for further investigation. You see, I am not being judgemental here but am curious to understand the science behind your action. Back home we have what we call Kamadhenu, all things considered a superior breed than your revered cows. But nobody drinks the pee anyway.

As I didn't want to lose time, I reached Madurai in Tamilnadu. Before I narrate further, I must tell you about our educational system. You would understand why I am informing you of this as soon as you read my notes. In our system children are given free education in the public schools irrespective of economic status of the families. By this time our system detects their innate abilities and interest and from the age of eleven children are allowed to choose disciplines of their choice. Of course, you need to remember that this system is not cast in iron. At a later stage an engineer can choose to become an artist. But an engineer must be proficient in maths and physics unlike the new system you want to introduce in this country.

Therefore, I was shocked to learn that even in Tamilnadu, the Dravidian country, the caste system determines a career one can choose. From my anthropological studies no where in the human evolution or in our (onearaimanithan) system birth in a family determines the career path of the children, who had no say in determining the family where they would be born. I must go back and discuss with my Ravan. Don't misunderstand me here. Ravan is a title that we confer on distinguished scholars. Ravan denotes ten times the size of an ordinary human brain and processing capacity that is ten times faster. In fact, according to our history first Ravan was supposed to have discovered the space ship called Pushpaka.

I observed what was called as election rallies happening here in Tamilnadu. Of course, I was curious to see envelopes exchanging hands in the wee hours of the night. What does nocturnal activity must be I understood from the morning news papers in which one star has accused one party of bribing or buying up votes. If the notes were given to me, I would have happily accepted the money, eat the food and the drinks and vote to whom I would have voted anyway.

I also saw posters of Tiruvalluvar look like everwhere. It was nice to know that Thiruvalluvar was revered so much in Tamilnadu until the tea shop vendor corrected me otherwise. Tea shop vendor was of course proud of the fact that this Thuiruvalluvar look alike was once a tea vendor like him. It was good to know that in your country too there are some exceptions to the caste rule.

The same leader I believe tries to look like Tagore in the state of W.Bengal. If he was an onearaimanithan he could do so. But this evolution from a human to onearaimanithan could take eons. But his followers I understand has elevated his stature to an avatar of unknown capacity and strengths. I have heard that be barely sleeps; he can identify a terrorist by the dress that was worn by the terrorist. Even we cannot do that being 50% more evolved than you. But in your country I have seen that the line is blurred between myths and reality.

Of course, I am alienated as an alien from your society's ethos. You can read my narrative as a fiction and go about your business as usual as has been happening in your country for eons. I must say it was all unique when the defence minister offers a pooja for protection to the most advanced fighter planes. I wonder if the makers that is the French scientists think of it as an insult to their innovations. I don't know if it was a privilege to be born here in your country and lead a struggle of life reciting slokas, gulping up myths, take to a career set forth by your birth and so on.

I am going back convinced that yours was not the land described in early history. If it was it had slipped somewhere and never got up from that slip.