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Infantina Thanga Nivetha

Others


3.8  

Infantina Thanga Nivetha

Others


A woman of difference

A woman of difference

5 mins 132 5 mins 132

I am sitting in my room right now to jot down my thoughts on who is responsible for the new me. When I ponder deeply, I feel a lot number of people in my surroundings changed me for the better or for the worst. Each and everyday there is a change in me. There exists an imbalance. Who should I point for the updated me ?

Her name is Selvarani (name changed). Her husband is a police . She has one daughter aged 6 years. Selvarani and I are in the same age group. In fact, she is just 3 days older to me. I have never seen a person who guards her privacy like her as if life depends on it and play rough in dealing with others. She is not coldhearted. Just that I realise she has been hurt by many people in her 30 years.

I admire her to the fullest. When anybody asks her personal questions, she is alerted and doesn't talk politely to them. She avoids them at all cost by speaking her truth. She says straight  to their face and very meanly, she doesn't like them. She is not offending them. If they are good people, why will they be nosy or unnecessarily annoy her ? Are they her friends or family? No.

Selvarani never allows anyone to get close to her. Everybody knows where they stand with her. Those who cross her personal boundaries are her enemies. The way she behaves tells it all. It has been two years since I met her. The strict tone of her voice still I cannot forget. She is not selfish but she knows the cost of associating with wrong people.

Selvarani is empathetic towards the poverty-stricken and the oppressed. She knows how to stitch and her engineering score is above 80% or so I have heard. She cannot be termed as upright but I have seen her help the unfortunate. She is also an unfortunate. She hails from a humble family background. Once she told me as I got an opportunity to talk to her that some of her family members are downright evil. I believe Selvarani's words. Her own sister is also not under her good books. This real story may seem fictional or that I am making it up but God knows the truth. She is a real person.

Selvarani's daughter was born on a Special day. She loves her husband and daughter so much. Her affection for them is unconditional. The demon , however is 'Alcohol'. Her husband drinks too much of it which is a cause of concern for her. She attempted to raise her voice against this in the wake of her now 6 year old daughter's sake who must not get the wrong impression of her father. Her husband disrespected her. The worst happened. Alcohol consumption may be one of her main concerns is my assunption as she guards her privacy and an independent thinker.  

I don't know whether her husband changed or not but Selvarani changed. Not sure when her personality changed into a ruthlessly rude person as if a stone is speaking. Her life lessons made her alert to her surrounding and keep strangers at bay is my conclusive findings after the opportunity presented to me by fate to communicate with her. Three times her husband made others to believe she is severely mentally ill. Selvarani barely took it to heart. She loves her husband even today. I don't have the slightest doubt. Now I assume she and her daughter live with her mother. What happened to her relationship with her life partner is unbenownst to me! I lost touch with her. Her ambition is to become a government employee. Will it happen? If she knew I am writing about her, she might or would get angry but she is the one who inspired me the most in this crime prone world.

Only fools think this world is a safe haven. Cheating, Ogling, Molestation, cyber-stalking, bullying, intruding, rape, gang rape, human trafficking, acid attacks, eve teasing, voyeurism, domestic violence are some of the injustices done to a female each minute everywhere in the world. Many of the crimes are against girls and women by the persons who are known to them like family members, friends,  friends of friends, neighbhours, etc. Being born as a cursed gender, all the women must protect themselves from harsh realities. At night, no woman can walk freely including women who are senior citizens. A 100 year old has been raped in this society and just a 28 day old baby too. The point I want to make is, born as female,  I cannot trust anyone as my close confidante. I have struggled with my life myself and subjected to several injustices not giant as rape or molestation. Women do injustices to their fellow women. Women ill wish for another woman. Should we call this society , a Paradise for future generation? 

Selvarani helped me to widen my knowledge about how to set boundaries in a relationship, be it friends /family / acquaintances. She aided me to believe , I have only one life so never do the mistake of trusting anyone with my life because not everyone is my friend or family in this lifetime. Be friendly to others but let them know where they stand with you is a message Selvarani gave me through her actions. I thank her from the bottom of my heart. She is one in a million woman who has seen the bad aspects of life on earth that she revealed her words of wisdom to me accidentally.

She inspired me not to give a damn about people who are jealous, gossipy, prying, intruding, revenge seeking, dishonest, bossy, needy, manipulative, controlling, demanding, overbearing, etc instead think about myself, satiate my needs , wants and that of my beloved ones. We should be stubborn and never allow anyone to take advantage of us or interfere in our personal affairs . By putting up with incompatible individuals or unwise people or tolerating those who want to bring us down or those who are selfish, we waste our time when we can concentrate on important matters, help and shower love to close pals and family. Our actions should speak more than words. Fake people will be friendly and support you as long they see you as an asset and their relationship is conditional, selfish, cunning , purely material. Real people will be there for you even when you hit rock bottom and their bond is one of a kind and their love is unconditional. Spirituality is the only thing I clutch onto for peace, love and happiness. As for Selvarani, may God bless her and her family in abundance. She is an inspiration to many struggling women like me. Live simply so others may simply live, Mother Teresa's words  I want to give it to everyone reading this. Help yourself so that God will help you. People who claim or act as if they have pure intentions and are good people must donate half of their possessions, wealth considerably for the needy than prove themselves , they are great people. Actions are false and words don't justify people's sins as holy. Live and let live, readers. Be REAL . Fake people are everywhere so make sure you are not one. 



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