A tribute to Sailendra, my brother-in- law

My sister’s family, our family, and my parents and unmarried sister, all lived separately in the same neighborhood. Shailendra, my brother-in-law, was an officer in one of the top nationalized banks in India. He joined the banking industry at a young age, soon after his graduation. He was writing exams for further growth and was getting promotions from time to time. He and my sister had a Son and a Daughter, both well-behaved and lovely kids. 

There was a lot of dependency and support between the three families. One remarkable and endearing quality of Shailendra was his caring nature and concern for all the family members including us, the in-laws. His excessive care and concern were coming out of his possessiveness about everyone near and dear to him. This quality of his was his strength as well as his weakness.

Eventually, My sister’s family had to move away to a different location, in the same city and we could not meet as frequently as we wished.

This seemingly smooth sailing boat got a jolt of its life when Sailendra was diagnosed with Covid19. He got admitted to the ICU of a corporate hospital and never came out of it. I distinctly remember that fateful day before admitting to the hospital, my sister had called me and informed me about the situation. After talking to her, I wanted to speak a few words to Shailendra, but given his nature, I thought it would upset him. Anyway, he is going to come back home and then I can personally visit him, I thought. I never could imagine that he would never come back. Tragically, it was his first and last admission into a hospital as an in-patient. He died, despite the excessive care that he had been taking about maintaining social distancing, disinfection, and masks. Surely the stay in the ICU for the first time, with no one dear to him around, must have been intimidating and fearful and could have taken his life. His mortal remains were sent to a crematorium and his son came from the UK to perform the last rites, while his daughter could not come as she was pregnant.

 

 Despite having a large, extended family none of us could attend the funeral due to our age and other health conditions. It troubled us to no end that we did not get to have one last look at him, could not bid a final farewell nor could we give a shoulder to our sister. Also, my sister who was grieving the loss of her husband had to organize his last rites. Though it had been more than a year since we lost him, I got the courage to pen this farewell only now. I always would regret not having talked to him before he left for the hospital. That was the last opportunity, I had to have spoken to him, which I did not avail myself. 

All I can say is an extraordinary, untimely end of the life of a very simple and good human being. Covid brought to an abrupt end, his dreams of visiting their daughter for her delivery, missed seeing and playing with his lovely granddaughter, visiting his son and daughter-in-law in the UK, and many more.

 

 I am sure that the experiences of many of the families who lost their dear ones would be similar with some minor differences here and there. But our loss is the greatest for us and only we know what it means.