My Lifelong Dream

Open my eyes to the windy mornin'

No coat, unfazed, favoring chilly days

Had a dream about someone, last night

And as I leave for the day,

It still lays in my mind

It's something I see every day

Something I wish,

Something I want

Something- I meant a someone

It ain't particularly one someone

Sometimes the face of them changes

One day it's my ex I haven't seen in years

Another day it's my best friend

Who's like a jumping bean with me

On the next it's my favorite avenger

That just happens to be a villian

All the time it changes

But it's the one and the same

I always dreamed about love

I always thought about love

Might be a little desperate

But too late for that now

I got hurt, I felt the pain

Of taking in the wrong one

Of being manipulated

Of thinking, 'I've found the one'

But a part of me doesn't care

Doesn't want to give up

It doesnt want to give up on love

I can't! Even when I try!

I can't give up on this!

I think of it when I eat

I think of it when I work

I think of it when I read

I think of it when I sleep

I think of it in school, in church

I think of it when in the mall

I think of it when I play

Or when I'm looking at jus one

Of my many crushes

So in the end, I forgive

In the end, I always stare

To the ones I attract

But also repel against me

Although, I know I should S-T-O-P

S-T-O-P is hard for me

For I went just so deep

And I kinda love this kind of deep

In this craving, lusting desire

Sometimes it kills me, my heart

Sometimes I cry and tell myself

That it'll never happen

That it's just a dream

And only a dream

But when that happens

I open my phone

And read some fanfictions,

Love-ships with characters I favor

For that's the closest thing I'll have

To romantic love

For that's the only thing that calms my heart

It's the only thing that would keep me sane

Sometimes hugs and other forms

Of platonic love helps

But sometimes it doesn't

If it's from the wrong person

I can't help but cringe

For that's not what I want

Especially when it's a stranger to my heart

This my lifelong dream

Whether it'll take 20 years or 80 years

I'm not giving up on this dream