Vishnu Prasad Dalai



Vishnu Prasad Dalai


How I Killed Myself

How I Killed Myself

2 mins 202 2 mins 202

I have a story that I am going to share,

I used to keep secrets but now I don't care,

I still am not sure who killed me,

Was it me only or society.

There's a lot of difference,

Between what I am today

And what I used to be

With my great confidence,

And my attitude,

Which was because of my friends maybe.

It doesn't mean life was good those days,

But there wasn't anyone who really cared.

I used to cry when I was alone,

On the lonely road from my school to home.

But I never ever showed my sadness to anyone,

I really used to be so emotionally strong,

There was literally no one,

Who I thought would stay with me for long.

I still wonder how the little me could handle all this,

All he needed was a little bliss,

But unfortunately, the day came,

When he killed himself out of shame.

Shame of living in an imperfect world,

Shame of being so perfect,

I wish he was a little more bold,

But he had lost his boldness so life had to reject.

Today I remember him sometimes,

Those peaceful memories,

I am not as strong as him,

His memories are like a happy and sad dream.

I often feel his presence,

If he's watching me,

I would like to have just some of his confidence,

Life still isn't good enough to believe me.

I think it's better that he died,

If he hadn't, he would have died someday later,

It actually was me who got you killed,

But trust me, when you are dead life is much better.

I have changed a lot,

Not in a good way I think,

I think I should now stop,

And cry a bit more remembering you.

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