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Raam On My Right Palm

Raam On My Right Palm

4 mins
648


My both hands were clasped and fingers were co-joined, 

I have written “Raam” the Holy God name in Hindu religion, on my right palm by holding my right-hand little finger through the left hand.

This is the practice I was doing since I was eight years old, my then best friend “Anjali” advice me to do so, she said, whenever you are in danger and want god to hear, then do this.

Magically it always worked in calming me down. So in every problem or danger, I was doing this. Back those times, my problems were skimmed to parents fights, school exam results, viva or PTM.


However Today was the day, when’s I needed it the most. Today was the First PTM of Class 11th Science Batch Section A.

And I, an above average student, after scoring 84 percentage in 10th class and filling my father chest, swollen with pride, 

Have failed, in 3 out of 5 subjects in the 11th Science First Unit Class Test.


My father, was silent that whole day, with the opposite of his aggressive nature and very particular about studies. He said nothing to me. Don’t know that silent was a blessing or curse, as it was making the situation worse for me. I was hoping that day to pass but that night was such a disaster, that I was not getting a nightmare also. I was wide awake at 11 pm, I tried to open my books but nothing was getting into my head. 

All things were hazy and blurry. I was getting impatient, the night silence making it more difficult for me.


I got up from the bed and went to straight to my parents' room, and was just about to knock the door, then heard my dad whispering voice. His voice was so heavy that’s in a hushed tone also, it was pretty clear to me, what he was saying.

“Her teacher said, she is the only student who got so low marks.”

‘Only student, only student, who got such low marks.

These words were like burning charcoal to my ears, I closed my eyes and with all summoned courage, opened the door.

My eyes got locked to my father eyes. 


I said, “Papa, can I take one year break, I don’t think, I can cope up or face this situation”

He said, No, you will not sit back and remorse of things that have happened. I am with you. Start from scratch and work hard again. You are good at maths, maybe, you should try the commerce stream.


I didn’t know, how to respond that time, I nodded with agreement.

10 months gots passed after this incident, that has been one of the hardest and testing time of my life.

From mockery to back bitching,

From joining in mid-term as completely stranger to accounts and economy syllabus to get addicted to them, have seen all.

All that, time, what kept me going on was, I knew, I didn’t have an option to be a failure, again, this time.


And In the process of regaining my self, I have become one of the top achievers of my class.

It was the Last PTM of class 11th Commerce section.

My parents were present, this time. I know, what was the result, I know I was teacher favourite this time, still, there was something, about this whole scenario, which makes me feel terrible, nauseous, or maybe it was due to my past experience.

I was sitting outside my classroom, was waiting for my parents to come,

I have written “Raam” on my right palm and have folded my fist so tight that my nails were completely digging into my palm flesh.


My eyes were fixed on class 11th commerce section gate, my parents came after some time, my eyes got stuck to my father's eye again.My mom came hurriedly and hugged me tightly, and finally, my father spoke those words, which I was feeling deserted to hear. He said, your class teacher said, You are the only student who scored so well in all subjects.

Only student, that word melted in my ears this time like sweetest sugarloaf. 

I opened my fist and said Thank you, God.


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